Tarkov Logic Supercut
All the Tarkov you can handle
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Közzététel: 3 hónapja
Divide my cheeks!
3:34 hahahaha
Tarkov isn't even hard to learn evething is labeled in the item description
This America Simulator is crazy accurate
0:38 - "put the condom" wait what? oh, i think i should turn on subtitles...
I wanted to play this game, but never knew they decided not to release it on steam and thought it was still in development. Also didnt know it was MMO so I think I'll pass
The first time the guy yelled out wiggle, I damn near pissed my pants
As a Tarkov player only most of this is what Tarkov is like. Recently the Tarkov experience has just been shooting the enemy 14 times in the chest and 4 times in the head and they'll love, then they shoot you once in the arm and you die.
So viva la dirt boys outed them self's as casual AF gamers at least they still funny ;)
Hi I’m Michael keeten..
its so true though
Brilliant, only just discovered you guys and you have magically summed up everything I have been saying to the members of the EFT cult. How do you escape from tarkov? the same way I did, uninstall it. Job done. 200 IQ play.
Love it guys so funny. You nailed it:)
This game tries so hard to be realistic it ends up being completely unrealistic.
fantastic work^^
No one is gana play tarkov agen because of this
Haha so true!! Btw, Jager's finding food, that jackass vender is a SERIOUS pain in the ass! The quest can EAT A D^^K after he gets punched in his! Great video!!
Gotta feel like they've been punched in the dick😂😂😂😂
Ive never seen a better explanation of a video game in my life
ЖОПА
Tarkov in a nutshell
Ending part is very funny
I play tarkov and for new players, it is hard🤣
Wiggle!
You forgot to mention that you start off outside of Tarkov . You have to enter Tarkov before you can get punched in the dick trying to escape.
I am starting to suspect that these guys somehow don't really like "Tarkov"...
OUTRAGEOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS! 🔥🔫🔥🔫🔥🔫🔥🔫🔥🔫🔥🔫
ahahahah its so good
8:12 lmao, that loot lure
3:30 This made me lol
The 1911 soundtrack from b01 is nice
7:48 Body still warm.Look likes there a killer about
3:30 😂 Это лучшее что я видел
Such overkill, but i get the point, i can relate
I'd love to see you play Dark Souls. ;->
U gotta do squad
"I'm fitter than this in real life" That's why I don't do tarkov. In no game that I ever play will my characters be less than my real self. Otherwise what's the point?
Well, you do realize, that the person in game has probably like +30kg of gear on them and are running full speed? Yeah bruh, wanna see you run like that in RL.
I'm told it's realistic combat by people that have never been in real combat. So, basically, they have no idea what they're talking about.
Вообще красавцы! Британский юмор жжёт!
You guys are definitely genious
At 18:50 SUBMACHINE GUN FOR A LITTLE HORSE TOY ME:SERIOUSLY!!!!!!
trigger discipine someone?
My friends also play Tarkov and neither of them still explain me what they are suppose to do in that game.
You want an mil-Sim? The real thing. Then get tarkov. Beside of some laggs and stuff it's pretty awesome to play. Either with a good communicating team or as a well organized lone wolf.
Suppressor not silencer.
this is epic!! love this guys!
hahahahah that Russian speaking rowan jesus christ it had me in stitches hahahahahahah
This is exactly me when I play 😂🤦♂️ I never have any idea where to go and when I actually end up finding something worth money. I uhhh get smoked....☹️☹️ ..........................(UNINSTALLED)🙌🖕
You forgot the "did i kill him?" Part and "player/scav" scenario
do Sea of Thieves plz
3:33 I Just cant stop its soo funny
Ah the russian swears
This is so good! Laughed out loud all the time!
There was a lot of anger put into this. It's delicious
0:07 Literally Xbox players 😂😂😂
i love Rowan so much.
This is a simulation of COD Players trying out Tarkov....... wow....
CoD players probably don’t even know this game exists
I hate this game so much lol
thought he was going to pull out the jar
The wiggle check part is so perfect lol
"Over Communicator": Literally every american pseudo-militaristic gamer...
I wonder what it feels like to be "punched in the deck"...
the biggest downside to tarkov is there are no real goals
I play tarkov. This is accurate
I really like this parody, but Tarkov is not hardcore enough, in my opinion.
WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH... Theres no scar in tarkov yet!!!! This guys hacking guns in!
You guys should do DAYZ!
03:33 BEST Part by far :D
I love this game. Really wanna play it.
I really liked this one. I enjoyed this one more than some others, I think because they were just as foreign to it as I was.
I love his funny logic
Everybody gangsta until rowan starts speaking russian
4:13 KILL ME NOW , this content gold. SEE.. SEEEEEE i wasn't the only one with that big black gaping hole in the logic of this game. Now i feel like i should not watch... Its like spoilers , but for real life me.
Мужики, скажите а кто у вас субтитрами занимается?
hahahaha
Dam I wish they had a scar in tarkov
I love the "this ain't no game"
Very funny!
3:42 !!! (_._) )!( ОПА!
Can not stand Tarkov, boring as hell to watch but this is hilarious. WIGGLE haha
This is perfect. DayZ felt just like this as well... The last straw for me were map wipes, where you’d loose everything over and over. It was like getting punched in the dick. 🤣💯👍🏼
#RowanShotFirst
1:28 My favourite bit of Alan acting
they played a game of russian roulette in the beginning
The blacked out, unexamined items at the trader was a very nice touch
we need more of this
4:41 subtitles say "escaping from tacos"
5:27 whys he have a pistol holster on his back? 😂
Iv played pubg on ps plus n it shit but this his good comedy content
8:21 ahahahahahaha like the "THE TRILOGY" on some movie:))))))))))) Im dead on laught :)
O.M.G. this video is 100% reality,in Escape from Tarkov this happens:))) Guys this is one funny game parody i ever seen:))))
WIGGLE, WIGGLE!!!
You're supposed to find Loot kills Enemy if you found them work together if you're a SCAV or the Private Military like USEC And the BEAR
Tarkov gives me PTSD
Honestly VOIP or team tags would instantly make this game more enjoyable. It has it's moments, but from playing it on and off for quite a long time (idk 2 years maybe). You very easly lose track of your teammates, especially during fights and everyone running around and TKing is one of the most annoying things and pretty much ruins the raid. Examining the same fucking items every time they wipe, it's like why even bother having that system in place at all if we're just going to have to do it over and over and over again, like I can recongnize a fucking cowboy hat when I see one. Reloading bullets into mags used to be fine but now it basically takes ages because iN rEaL lIfE yOu dOnT rElOaD fAsTso you're just sitting there for a solid few minutes in the inventory screen hearing tick tick tick tick and you're forced to be inside the inventory aswell to do it. Healing went from a press of a button and it takes 5 seconds and it heals or whatever and you could do it during fighting instantly, now you gotta go through a whole animation of yourself stabbing your arm with a needle and yada yada (which is fine, but annoying and leaves you without a gun for the duration of the animation). There's hundreds of attachments and fucking no one knows what goes on what, a simple scope can require fucking 3 different pieces in order for it to be able to go on your gun etc, just fucking annoying and you pretty much have to figure it all out yourself and more than likely there will be moments you go "oh wait what, you can have that on that??". Ammo, there's several types of ammo, some with armor piercing, some without but high flesh damage, some with balance, but NONE OF THE STATS ARE IN THE GAME. You literally have to use third party sites to even know wtf is the difference and more than often there's ammo called armor piercing but they can be worse than other ammo that's not labeled as such and so on... You can't loot too much anymore which was the major fun of the game right, you get some kills and get out with all this loot. Nowadays because of "realism" you're a fucking turtle who literally can't walk and it's possible to be too overweight just with your own gear because you decided to bring a juice box with you. The barters make no fucking sense at all I'll be honest, it's just random items put into the game and random trades to have some form of purpose for the items, they literally have no meaning. The quests are okay I'd say, some are annoying or take a long time, some if you die you have to go back to the very start, some are cross-map and with those you have to go back to the first map if you die in the second. Quest items are "in-raid" until you get out, meaning if you die you lose them. Even when you get out, you have to open this weird settings area and move the quest item to "offline" or hand the quest item in, or you might accidentally bring the item with you on the next raid and THEN lose it AGAIN. The maps are dogshit and always have been, they used to be a tool to choose where you wanted to spawn in, but since they removed that, maps have no usage in the game and is a waste of fucking money to even buy since you can't fucking LOOK at the map in the game even if you have the map with you. Literally useless item. Speaking of spawns, spawning in late and instantly dying. Since loot is the only thing that actually matters, there's people camping the exits which is just great after a 35 minute raid you had battling to just get 1 shot at the end by a guy who's been sitting there for the past 35 minutes doing jackshit just waiting for someone to come up. There's also people going in with nothing at all to just grab whatever they can that's hopefully worth a lot of money, shove it into their prison wallet which is a little container that keeps items safe upon death, but not all items as not every item can go there due to past bug exploits that they never really fixed but just decided to restrict the way it was done rather than fixing their broken shit game. Speaking of bugs, there's more bugs in this game than there's bugs in your sweaty fucking matress. They eventually get fixed, usually it takes people to be the villains and massively exploit it openly for all to see for them to stop making another broken map or more attachments and to actually fix the bug somewhat. And ofcourse the soyboy community that protects the devs no matter what, even if they call people using a bug "terrorist" and having the PR guy call the bug user a "retard" openly on stream, they go full yayyy dev, ye tell them to stop using bugs, we were happier when only a small fraction of people used the bug in secret to gain an unfair advantage rather than it blowing up and actually getting fixed by the devs, oh btw I forgot to mention most of those bugs were actually reported months and sometimes a year prior and never got fixed. A guy found a way to go into any fucking object into the game just by laying down prone, it was very easy to do and you could shoot through the objects, get out easly and you were not able to be shot while inside one, totally gamebreaking bug, it was used by a small amount of players but no one really knew about it, the guy reported it over and over during like half a year and nothing happened, so he decided to contact a Tarkov streamer who got in touch with the devs and WITHIN FUCKING DAYS IT WAS FIXED. Speaking of devs, they're shit. Just kinda how it is, Nikita can suck a goat dick for all I care, actual assholes. What else do we have.. The ability to become completely broke and needing to completely wipe your account and start anew is a thing. You can ofcourse get out of that hole, but nontheless it's entirely plausible for new players to lose everything and not being able to play or enjoy the game and not knowing HOW to get back from it. Something that really fucking annoys me is Scavs, which is the Tarkov Ai that wander around shooting players, they've had their moments of being broken.. But you can actually play as one, a player scav.. Now if you shoot a scav as a player scav, the scavs turn hostile, makes sense I guess... However, if a player scav shoots you, and you defend yourself and shoot him, they still turn hostile. Even in the event of 50 scavs being aggressive and hunting down this one player scav, if you shoot him as a non-hostile player scav, the scavs still attack you afterwards. I don't get that logic at all and it's dumb. Speaking of scavs, there's a meme and a thing about scav on scav violence because people will opt in as a player scav (technically being on the team of the scavs) and just killing scavs and player scavs for no real reason. SO instead of you two player scavs teaming up against the normal players, that guy will probably kill you on sight for no reason at all. What else do we have oh boy.. Well the price tag for a BETA game, it's been in beta forever and probably will never fully release as a game. The price tag is ridiculous aswell, however I'm willing to admit if the game was finished and they made some tweaks and made cheaters and bugs disappear, the price would be okay. Speaking of cheaters, they openly fucking cheat because the anti-cheat system is garbage and some cheaters don't even get banned for a long time even with massive reports. Literally flying around and the game is like "yeah that's normal". Then we have the fact Tarkov is actually on SidAlpha's dirty dev list, now if you don't know who Sid is, he makes great content surrounding dirty game developers and so on, quite enjoyable in my opinion and he does very good with research and being within legal right and so on so forth (legal issues and devs tryna silence free speech happens alot). Which reminds me partly why they were on there was due to a MASSIVE copyright claim against several channels that critiqued the game "negative hype" they called it, they literally copy right claimed every single video of a Tarkov youtuber, over 100+ videos and thousands of hours of content and work for a critique he made in I think one video which was still completely fair and within legal rights.. It has been liften since then, but to say the least, the guy speaks out very heavily and honestly whenever he can because "fuck them, they already tried removing my channel" pretty much which is a good thing, they didn't manage to silence him in the end. But yeah shit like that.. This funny lil sketch made me realize how much I don't like tarkov because I went on a fucking rant just now. Kinda glad I put that game down half a year ago again (tried it for a bit, had some fun, but game is shit) And to anyone reading all of this, or just reading this last bit, don't buy the game. I honestly am not able to recommend this game in it's current state and probably never will.
This literally gives me PTSD. I play Tarkov all the time. It couldn’t be more accurate lol
You just gotta Git Gud...
my god this is actually the game through and through....
Rowan : HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW ? YOU DIDNT WIGGLE! Alan: yep fuck this I'm out (bloop) Roawns logic is by far not flawed he did ask so I mean 🤷♂️🤷♂️ bow bow 😂
Russian thingy was very funny😂😂😂